What produces ultra high-definition prints at blazing speeds (photographs as quickly as 10 seconds), scans, faxes, copies, prints labels directly onto CDs or DVDs, sports a 7.8" touch panel and 3.5" LCD screen, and grabs files wirelessly from any room in your home?

This thing:

Because while those lab-quality photo prints and thirty-eight page-per-minute color printing are all good and fine, one day you might need to send a fax (if you still know what that is), and you'll look damn cool doing it.

$70 instant rebate on this monstrosity over at B&H until 12/22 means you can pick it up for $229.50.